Where were you?

scribble pad.

"Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun"

- "Coming Back To Life" (Pink Floyd)

..... That's exactly how you feel when you discover the system has let you down. when the people you trusted let you down. (why wont they open their eyes and see the system for what it is??) but then you have to fight the system. so, if they make it necessary for you to fight them as well - so be it.

there are some days when you feel soooo incredibly tired and disillusioned. when you wish you could simply drop dead because it feels like all you've ever done is fight fight fight to stop this shadowy menacing thing.... thats when you listen to this song and come back soaring- reborn and ready to fight.

the married martyrs

scribble pad.

i know of at least 5 married people who regularly – almost daily – tell me how, because of marriage, they are unable to do anything. they blame their marital status for their lack of efficiency, inability to have fun, to paint their toe nails, their foul mood in the morning,
their losing touch with school friends etc etc. the way they gripe and blame their spouses for everything, really, youd think marriage is the worst thing that could happen to anyone.

hah, cynical doesnt say it! when i say something like “maybe you can still be married and have fun, live your own life, live the way you want to...”, you know – make the kind of statement that implies that you have a mind and a life that neednt be sacrificed on the nuptial alter – they sneer and say youll learn when its your turn. (thats when they deign to respond directly. mostly they exchange knowing looks, laugh and say “we were also so fresh and enthusiastic about life no, wait till she learns” as if i am absent).

but if i ever open my mouth before them to state firmly that the prospect of marriage does not attract me, they pile on me to shut me up and tell me how essential it is. how a woman absolutely must have a man to support her. how she is incapable of doing a days worthwhile work. they are so convinced of that, each of them, that they dont seem to realise that they are working and supplementing the family income and doing at least some of the things they decided they absolutely cannot do. funny how thoroughly your convictions can blind you. “argue for your limitations and sure enough they’re yours” – richard bach. a person never said a truer thing!

i happen to have a slightly rosier take on the whole affair of marriage (though i dont want it for myself!). so, to hear these folks say at least one decent thing about their marriages i asked them the obvious question - why didnt they walk out if they were so unhappy?they promptly rolled their eyes, threw up their hands and said noooo that wasnt an option. i asked why not. (how that flummoxed ‘em!) they thought for five minutes and then said there were Things that had to be Tolerated. (so much for my rosy picture : the husbands became like pimples - to be poked and aggravated on rainy days, but to be generally disregarded or tolerated otherwise!)

you know, what really fazes me is how we keep searching for ways to make martyrs of ourselves. we cannot feel good about ourselves unless were donning some stereotypical mantle of the Virtuous Wife or the Sacrificing Mother. mad ... what a sad way to live... its a marxist dream come true! imagine never having woken up in the morning feeling good about yourself because youre competent, empowered, skilled and a complete person... awful. i think its very important to be able to say “im proud of my competence, of my ability to laugh and feel good about life and myself.... and i dont need your moral sanction for it, thanks.”

It's time to get angry again...

Women have borne and nourished humanity. When they fall ill and die, are abused and tortured, it affects the whole human species....

Violence against women is present everywhere: it permeates cultural, regional, religious and economic borders, affecting women of every class, race, caste, age, religion or belief, disability, nationality. Most of the times the so-called “protectors” of womenkind are often the first to violate their rights. Fathers, brothers, uncles and other relatives, officials and police have ignored, or in turn abused, women who have turned to them for help. A woman’s cry for help, a complaint that she has been ill-treated deserves to be treated seriously.

GLOBAL VILLAGE
(Source: Amnesty Intl. Press Release 03.05.2004)
How will violence against women look in a scaled down world, in a global village of 1,000 people? (the figures are based on statistics from UN, WHO and governmental and non-governmental organizations)
* 500 are women
* It would be 510, but 10 were never born due to gender-selective abortion or died in infancy due to neglect
* 300 are Asian women
* 167 of the women will be beaten or in some other way exposed to violence during their lifetime
* 100 of the women will be victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime

WOMEN AND POPULATION
(Source: Amnesty Intl. Press Release 03.05.2004)
* 49.7% of the world population are women (3,132,342,000 women; 3,169,122,000 men) (UN Population Division).
* At least 60 million girls who would otherwise be expected to be alive are "missing" from various populations as a result of sex-selective abortions or inadequate care as they are seen less important than boys (E, Joni Seager, 2003).

Cultural beliefs and attitudes may reinforce violent behaviour, making it seem that violence against women is “natural” or “normal”. Hence the violence no longer gets talked about although thousands of women are in pain and even in danger of losing their lives. Especially in domestic violence, nobody intervenes to help the woman being battered because it is culturally acceptable for a man to “discipline” or “punish” his wife.

Though many women have experienced violence from family members, they may not realize it. If you ask a woman “have you been beaten?” She may say “yes”, but if you ask her “have you been treated with violence?” she may say “no”. This is because violence is perceived as such only when hospitalization is required. The general slapping, punching, belittling, humiliation and abuse is tolerated as “normal”.

We see this in even in ultra-modern offices. Men, during a discussion, how many times have you looked at each other rather than at the woman who is talking (even when she is talking intelligently!)?

Women's lack of decision-making power within the home, and their low social and economic status within the community severely limits their options for preventing and responding to abuse.

As women, we are also culturally conditioned to accept abuse and insults. Many is the time that a woman has been felt up in a crowded place. She has been taught to be passive - such harassment “will happen”. It is too “embarrassing” for her to object to these things, and it’s better to just keep quiet. Please, if you are a woman reading this, speak up. Being silent only reinforces our vulnerability.

Whether it is among our friends, in class, at work or at home, when we dare to raise our voices and disagree, we are attacked for our audacity – for the fact that we as women dare opposition and stand by our viewpoints, rather than on the content of our argument. We are labelled “radical”, “man-haters” and other terms, with derogatory intent.

Nobody has the right to abuse and harass us because our appearance is not pleasing, to rape us because we do not want to have sex, or starve and beat us because they are feeling ill tempered. They cannot belittle us to assert their power. Women are half the human race, but are treated with the most inhuman savagery.

In these times of HIV infection, violence against women takes on an even more menacing aspect. Other than her physical and mental well being, violence affects a woman’s reproductive health as well.

Sexual violence against women has led to higher infection rates of HIV/AIDS than among men of the same age group. (Amnesty Intl, 2004).

Lack of access to medical care, good nutrition and prevention information has made women increasingly vulnerable to HIV infection.

When child brides enter families, they are seldom treated better than slaves. People around them will decide if they can work, visit their friends, buy a new dress, how much they can eat and whether they will get pre-natal care.

Globally, it’s estimated that in the next decade, 100 million more girls—or roughly 25,000 girls a day—will marry before they turn 18. (Population Council, 2003)

To sum it up,

“ Even if it had been real, equality would have been a poor substitute for liberation; fake equality is leading women into double jeopardy. The rhetoric of equality is being used in the name of political correctness to mask the hammering that women are taking... .On every side speechless women endure endless hardship, grief and pain, in a world system that creates billions of losers for every handful of winners.

It's time to get angry again. "
(Extract - "The Whole Woman" by Germaine Greer)

oh, by the way -

just a fact i'd like to bring to your attention. the UN charter on Rights of the Child has been ratified by 192 countries in the world.... except for Somalia - and the United States of America.
Care to see for yourself? - click here :

http://www.unicef.org/crc/crc.htm

to jack...

scribble pad.: a reply .....

dear jack,

to answer you, if i were taking at face value what our history books say, i would merely state (disapprovingly!) that the indus valley civilisation worshipped a figure called the mother goddess, and that we have excavated several statues of her. what the religious beliefs were, why they worshipped her, the way society was organised then would not be part of the story at all. my reference to history is simply to highlight the fact that such a viewpoint existed from ancient times. plus to drive home the point that even in the education system, significant facts are glossed over, and important issues are not pointed out, explained or discussed. my facts are drawn from a curry of fields like feminist philosophy, history, anthropology... (and i assure you, im suspicious of my sources - i do not trust our saffronised and several-times-rewritten text books any more than you do!)

"is sex a celebration of life only when it is clothed by prudery and sanctified beyond meaning?" NO : which is why it wasnt that way before!! please. youre talking about a culture that depicted bare breasted women in temples. what was that about clothed in anything, leave alone prudery?! also, if you are talking about sancitity yes, i would say that treating the body as a temple is an important and beautiful concept, relevant always. in fact, according to hinduism, each part of the body is governed by a different god - check out your vedanta. also, if you think that that in any way diluted or ignored the sensual, physical angles, please do read a translation of soundarya lahiri. it deals at great length with the parts of the female body, about the breasts, the vulva, the changes during sexual arousal, orgasm etc. so much for being clinical huh. i presume thats about as "raw" as you had in mind? if you mean did they crack lewd jokes and make obscene comments - no. they didnt. sex was above and beyond that.

the open minded honest and practical attitude to sex is seen in so many things - how can you forget the kamasuthra! did you know we also had a very practical take on prostitution? the arthashashthra deals with (amongst other things) prostitute colonies, codes of conduct for prostitutes and their clients, contraception methods to be followed - and benefits and facilities to be provided to the colonies by the state!

we may be the modern generations time-wise, but our ancestors were a damn sight more modern in thinking! :-)

m.

a reply .....

scribble pad.: i DONT like pornography.

hi. this is a response to the comment that was posted, for the post on pornography. what, they asked, would happen to men, if the “outlet” of pornography were not provided....

heres some concrete proof to all those who thought feminism was simply male bashing: i sincerely believe no man will burst and die for lack of sex. if he does, hes no loss to the rest of the world!! :-)

the emphasis of needing an “outlet” is, if i may point out, another indicator of patriarchal conditioning. most societies follow a patriarchal culture today. male dominance is emphasised in the most basic form by emphasising the penis. fact: penetration during sex in the 21st century has been deeper than ever before. the condition of women has also deteriorated the most in this time. poverty, ill health and any other social problem you can think of have become feminised. women and children are bearing the brunt of this brutal system. (even the UN reports have cottoned on this fact. btw... have you ever read a “state of the worlds children” report? bet most folks havent. its not popular with mainstream media!)

therefore when i object to pornography, im also objecting to a culture that conditions men to think that they need not, or cannot, resist a sexual impulse. that they must gratify it, no matter how, where, or what the result. that they may resort to even violence to do so. the act of sex loses all meaning. it takes on a unidimensional aspect of being a way to exert power. if youre still in doubt, you need only to look at what happened to women during the genocide in rwanda.

may i also point out that in several old civilisations, the feminine was respected. go back to school. which was the first civilisation you read about... indus valley? remember reading about the mother goddess? sex used to be regarded as a celebration of life. it was an act exalting the divinity of the feminine. when the western countries sent out their crusading missionaries to convert the “heathens” – yes, the same “barbarians” who had this refined attitude to sex – they established their patriarchal society around the world. and since english is a western language, you see it in the words as well : mankind. history. look at the world of business, which was traditionally a male domain - we speak of “penetration” of a market to indicate a conquest. gazni “raped” the land. sex being a basic instinct, our language reflects it strongly. lingual theories deal with this phenomenon extensively.

honestly, it fogs me how we can limit our perceptions so much! theres so much to even the body alone other than sex.... when will we learn to really watch, love and respect our bodies if we're so busy living out these stupid conditioned warped stereotypes?

so much for medicine ...

science, which has become mainly patriarchal, has developed the attitude of “what nature can do, we can do better”. i know many science students whose hackles immediately rise at such a statement. but consider these random examples of scientific objectives -

plant, vegetables and fruits. properties present naturally to be “enhanced” by genetic engineering
life. cloning.
death. create cryogenically frozen corpses to be restored to life later.
the human body. cosmetic surgery. we’ll sculpt the body to perfection.
the brain. creation of neural network systems for computers to mimic, and then improve.

i said “patriarchal” sciences. id say the foremost examples of that are in medicine, in the fields of obstetrics and gynaecology. (my pet topics in allopathy - im saving up psychiatry for a seperate session!) if you look at how the medical profession has screwed up womens health, its quite a story. and im not even looking at disasters like thalidomide. im talking about the fundamentals themselves being flawed.

lets look at obgyn. as things stand today, there are more male doctors with this specialisation than female. funny thing huh.

the doctor today knows better than the woman herself, and confidently asserts that she is incapable of delivering her baby without “professional help”. read: without being pushed into a white tiled room stinking of disinfectant, prodded with different instruments, surrounded by men in white coats, and subjected to their impersonal scrutiny and techincal jargon, when what she most needs is to be surrounded by loving, concerned people to encourage and support her through the ordeal of a lifetime. but hey, its no big deal – mister doctor says so. dont fuss, your menstrual cramps are not so painful. youre not fit to ovulate, conceive or deliver without his intervention. but lucky you – hes there to punch holes in you, cut you up, remould and recast you.... whats a couple of thousands if he can design you better than nature did eh?

somehow, all these male doctors have the whole reproductive system figured out to a t! so much for all those generations of women whove experienced the phenomena of conception, child birth, menstruation etc.

the way the general medical community abuses women and causes them pain and suffering instead of helping them, continues to be an issue thats still not talked about, but is very real. id say its one of the critical areas requiring feminist rethinking today.

patriarchy feminism

cpols

i work in an ngo that works in the field of hiv/aids. when we want to change a community’s behaviour, we use a form of intervention wherein we recruit people called community popular opinion leaders. (of course like little children we get a cheap thrill by complicatedly calling it “CPOL” - one more addition to our list of senseless jargon). anyway. these cpols are simply prominent individuals whose words carry some weight with the community. the cpols take up the burden of helping the community adopt safer behaviour styles and evolve different responses to situations etc etc.

around 2 days back, i read on one of the hiv-related sites (theres a standard bunch i keep running through) that the un or some body like that, wanted to extend the concept to children. they wanted to recruit child cpols.

i felt so so sad reading that. what a complete failure of the adults, that such young shoulders must bear such burdens.... i thought it was sad that youngsters in college, barely getting to know the world, are now required to hastily learn its dirty aspects to fight it... i thought they were being cheated of the joy of life, of youth. what are we doing to the children then? how many generations of adults must have screwed up for the system to fail so completely?

we are cheating our children. not only are we bringing them into a horrible ugly world, we are also leaving the task of cleaning it up to them. we are all guilty as long as we refuse to acknowledge what is happening around us, as long as we claim the priveleges of adulthood without also taking on its responsibilities. the scathing things that roszak says about the way we have treated the concept of adulthood seem so true and relevant. nothings changed in 40 years. hopeless hopeless system.

anyway, speaking of system failure, the fact there are now ngos is in itself another sign of failure : the government and socioeconomic structures that dont do their job will not be thrown out for their incompetence. instead, we will pour out millions to keep them alive and turn to miniscule freelancers instead, and expect them to achieve with their piddly resources what the people trusted the government to do. what absolute nonsense. the concept of the ngo is such a pathetic one.... the ultimate aim of most ngos would be to work towards the day when they are no longer needed.... and who would ever do that? how would we tap into millions of dollars and line our pockets then? of course we would always carefully work below par! why should we kill ourselves? the government is simply looting, we will at least serve and loot. pathetic society that we are, this is our idea of providing an alternative. i wonder whom were fooling.

system failure

wake up call

you know i keep going on and on about the us, and human rights and corporate misuse of power right? well. these arent just things that interest me : they bother me big time.

since we are are soon going to be scattered across the world, i think its all the more important that we all get started on at least talking about these issues once in a while, and thinking about them a little more often? we may get some good ideas working together. its boring at first - like "why are these doomsday guys going on and on... they dont know how to enjoy life", right?

i see it like this. life is beautiful. i mean really wonderful. and the world is a shitty place. its not that there arent beautiful things in it, there are. but theyre fast being out-numbered by dirty things : men are being beaten up, women are being raped and children are being killed because some corporate felt like making a little more money, or somebody felt like being "powerful" .

if you want to know why we should be worried, here are a few reasons why. you know, those gd pi classes give a good cross section of the brightest people in the country. engineers, doctors, managers, rich, poor, smart guys, washouts ... you name it, theyre represented! and these are the things we heard them say :

" rural markets have to be exploited "
" the poor and all that "
" farmers and everything "
" some people are just more...conducive... to testing than others, especially people like us –
indians"
" so what if essential drugs become ten times more expensive and only rich people have access
to them? pharma companies have to make their profits "
" whats a poverty line? "

these were said not as slips, not as accidental blunders.... but as real statements of mindset and attitude. these people have iim calls. they will become the future coporate leaders. and this is how much they care for, and how they see, the world around them. whats shocking is not the lack of awareness, but the “who cares” take on everything that cannot be quantified for a price tag. maybe it’s the environment they grew up in, I don’t really know. a lot of conditioning happens during childhood, especially during schooling. if you want the adult version of these attitudes, did you see the ndtv coverage of the december quake in iran? it was mentioned after the cricket match – a case of implicitly stated priorities. are you mildly worried?

radio is the medium that really covers india, yes? even in the villages which have damn-all infrastructure (and there are quite a few), there are radios. on 11th april on FM radio, there was a contest : call up and tell a lie for 50 seconds. the "best" liar gets a prize. there were nonstop callers from 7 to 9. and the lies ranged from cheating in the board exams to going for a movie by telling the hostel warden that it was to visit a friend (who was injured in an accident) in hospital. no complicated facade here : lie = reward. If we say it enough number of times and in enough number of ways, it will become “always that way” and acceptable. are you a little more worried ?

we hear so much news everyday.... so many channels, can we really be missing out on the truth? can stuff really be hidden from us? can we be fed information selectively and with a view to distort? yes, we can. did we hear of the recent kalpakkam nuclear materials leak immediately, or after a few days? and that’s very near home isnt it… heres something from my favourite country! does cnn or voice of america tell us that the carlyle group is one of the worlds largest private investment group, and that it makes money by investing in the arms and ammunitions industy? nope. i dont think so. it takes an individual (eg arundhati roy), to tell you that. that the group’s partners include james a baker III (former us secretary of state), george soros (who is a Voice heeded by imf and world bank) and fred malek (bush sr’s campaign manager)? that bush senior himself makes presentations to "potential government clients”? the chairman and md of the group is ex-us defense sec. frank carlucci (who was rumfelds roommate in college). the dedicated servants of the public. screw the public. war is money.

can a government comprised of such men really work for human rights and discipline corporates? glaxo smithkline, aided by columbia university, is now in court for testing aids medication on three year old children without consent. that’s a nice combination of education, business and politics isnt it…and please note : a university was involved. how well informed dyou think their students are? and how much is because of them? who is going to discuss with those young people the dilemmas they will face and the choices they’ll be called on to make? the guys who killed the 3 year olds cos they were “just doin’ their jobs”?

its not that the alternative is joining the vhp or the rss! and – this is not to say that we indians are angels : the kind of treatment given to adivasis and dalits (23% of the population) more than contradicts that.

I really think arundhati roy was on to something when she said keeping quiet is a political act. when the person in power looks the other way, its as political an act as actively standing there and doing the damage. thats how we had godhra and world war II. thats how corporates get away with misuse of power. so lets talk. lets yell murder about things that are wrong. that theyve always been this way is a). not true, and b). doesn’t make it ok. lets be aware of whats happening around us. lets share ideas. views. opinions. who knows ? one day because you got someone interested in this whole thing, they may end up doing something fantastic.

the purpose of writing all this is, I guess, to say : we really cannot put off these things for later. they call for attention. NOW. we have to see what we can do. its important we start now and not wait till we become "adults" capable of fuzzing everything with justifications. weve double advantage : not so old that we’ll dismiss everything, not so young that we cant understand and think for ourselves.

we still have a chance to make an impact. look at world history : social change has been the result of youth dynamism questioning old political dogma and objecting to unfairness inherent in it. of course such a social conscience is not a usual thing : maybe one percent of the campus population will listen to it. but the one percent still counts and makes a difference.

at first it doesnt seem like we can do much, right? but there is! right now as consumers, we can say ok : this company is just way too unethical, im not going to buy stuff from it. (ive seen quite a few moms fondly lavish coke on their kids even now!).

simple things : if we go into business, lets be professional and ethical. professional is about making profits, evolving long term strategies etc etc. ethical is about drawing a line with regard to what lengths we will go to to achieve the profits. somehow the two have been declared mutually exclusive these days, but thats not true! look at infosys, wipro, tata... we can have both.

media conditioning system failure

i DONT like pornography.

for what its worth, these are simply some ideas i have about pornography - and what it could also stand for, because a lot of our lives and actions are lived out in symbols.

first, the most obvious aspect: all pornography is an insult to life.... sex is a celebration of life, of the creative force, of divinity. to reduce it to an experience where people are just about human, and indulging in decadent warped fantasies in undeniably an insult to life. its sort of saying "hey life look - im not big enough to spit on you directly (i cant even grasp in entirety what youre about) so im going to deface your symbol". its pathetic. theres this smallness, furtiveness ..... meanness associated with porn. its for people who are so small that they cannot celebrate LIFE. i cannot say it well, but i think thats one brilliant para in atlas shrugged..... it describes how two people have sex not as an act of celebration, but as something where they are mutually belittling themselves and each other...

second, if you look at statistics - more men see/read pornography than women. and of all the pornography ever made, some 90+ percent depicts women. lesbian or gay pornography is very marginal. so pornography is a thing driven by markets that are a). male, b). stereotypical . that means pornography is like the worst form of advertising - it shows what you fantasise about, and also influences what you will fantasise about. the people talked about or shown in porn are often selected for deviant characterestics... like an extra big penis/ bust or whatever. they are made into freaks and their dignity is stripped by making them sex objects. not only the person in the film, but also the audience is less "human" for watching it. pornography is like ditchwater - whether weve been in contact with it for a second or for a life time, we come out the dirtier for it. let me simply say, i dont think loving life is like wearing silk clothes - to be assumed for specific occasions. its a permanent fixture - your mental skin. you make it more difficult for yourself by dabbling in dirt.

pornography being the warped thing it is, by watching it, i think we reinforce the behaviour of people making the movies and trying to live out their perverted fantasies. the doer and the deed are not that distant - we become silent collaborators. we dont even have the dubious courage of that person who stood up and stripped before the camera. were trying to play dirty by second hand means so that we may have the "goods" without paying the price. as i see it, thats exploitation twice over on all scales : moral, economic, spiritual, mental, physical.....

look at the person in the movie. porn isnt about celebrating the body and the nude, its to make a mockery of the dignity that two have. the concept of the power and strength of the nude is way beyond the scope of porn. have you felt awed by david? by the greek and roman statues? have you felt the same reaction seeing porn?

you know, sex is so closely linked to SO many parts of our lives. see thats why the emphasis on sexual cleanliness for mental cleanliness. the link between sex and your mind - the politics of the mind are so strong... look at the most common political systems - capitalism and socialism. have you noticed sex is also defined in their principles? yeah - they tell you what you can own, what you can buy, whom you should vote for - and sleep with. read whats written between the lines: its very interesting!

theres this concept that im only hazily aware of..... something im yet to fully appreciate, but i think the outlines are very promising. let me try and put it into words: here goes.....

if you look at ancient peoples attitude towards sex - any cultures: greek, roman, indian, egyptian - the impulse and its associations were celebrated and honoured. the premium was on the thing of creation, re-experiencing god (which is why the so-called heathen religions worship sex - starting with our phallic shiva). it was a reminder of feeling love, responsibility and whole spectrum of things like that. but now if you look at it, the impulse is shamed - "sex is dirty" - and the object or outlet it paramount. as in whom are you f__ing - (thats the accepted rule :you have to screw if youre aroused) is it a man or a woman? if its a man, shit you’re gay! (who the hell said thats unnatural??) if its a woman, does she have the impossible physique you fantasised about? never mind if you cant remember the last 20 women you slept with, you SLEPT and thats primary...

can you see this around you ? its happening.... sometimes the media sound like theyre psyching you into some kinda sexual incontinence!! i think that term - sexual incontinence is actually biblical or something, but its perfect! i came across it in this lovely book, dante's "inferno".

the way they looked at sexual urges in those times was brilliant. it was so commonsensical and healthy... media conditioning runs deep.


that was the unemotional part. this is the emotional reasoning -

1. as a woman, i object STRONGLY. the woman youre seeing in that movie is someones mother, wife, sister, daughter - and shes my kin. she is already being exploited in so many ways, how dare we do this to her in this intensely basic parameter as well? social systems take a long time to change, yes, but pornography is such a simple thing to stop promoting. what gives you 2 minutes of cheap kicks is costing someone else their life. dont fool yourself. the price is nothing less. can you imagine that womans kid trying to make sense of the world saying, “yeah, my mom’s a porn actress”? children deserve better.

2.porn is tool of peer pressure. youre cool only if you "do" porn.... get real. i think peer pressure is a really dirty game: people who dont have the courage themselves feel so defensive that someone else does to refrain from doing something, that they resort to really dirty means. marketing to the rescue again : in reality im a smaller and dirtier person than you for doing something, but that makes me feel defensive and your integrity makes me insecure. so ill pretend that im actually doing something ultra cool, and that you are so "yknow, stuck up" that you wont join me - you dont belong. social ostracism and isolation are very real and powerful weapons that most of us cant handle. we’d sell their souls to "belong".

3. how a society treats women is a very simple indicator of how the society really is. basic anthropology. sexuality and sexual politics are like signals of a much bigger picture. what im seeing scares me. stop proliferating the symbols until they become problems themselves - it makes solving the other issues much more complex and difficult.

4. when people see porn and then talk of having meaningful relationships or celebrating life and all that.... it leaves me amazed. how do they smooth out that blatant dual standard?!! what, because its "down there" and not always visible it doesnt count? outof sight is out of mind? i really, honestly, dont get it.

this whole argument is the truth. i would say it every time and any time a discussion came up on porn. it could be my best friend or a stranger, but i will NOT keep quiet about porn if silence is agreement or consent. its beyond being personal - its partly about an ideal...

thats about the sum of what i think about porn. it feels instinctively a very, very bad thing.

feminist issues


sex pornography patriarchy feminism

feminist issues

gender

abuse of male privilege
friends and freeing influences how m. became a woman! :)
between you and me - bloggers and gender politics
fairy tales and stereotypes
m. speaks wikipedia part 2, and about gender-bashing for the Glory of Knowledge

science, medicine and health

science and the state
the scientific mind, emotions and ethics
human nature, sex and science
ethics and allopathy
technocracy and the media - II
technocracy and the media
a definition of sorts
so much for medicine.

feminisms

a view on "being different" and social conformity
sex and PG my experience with my parents about the issue of sex
oleanna a movie i saw
the common thread what binds the educated and uneducated indian woman?
us and them "why doesnt feminism talk about (insert random issue) instead?"
equality vs liberation equality doesn't matter all that much to me
breasts
beauty
womb pride
being a feminist now
dick francis an author who moved beyond the male gaze

system failure

make some blank noise
adults
the king of po(o)p michael jackson, popular support and the media
protecting children prevention and help in times of child sexual abuse
the world's children state of the world's children
as usual, it's upto the women
it's time to get angry again... commentary on the condition of women
oh, by the way- the system and the rights of the child
cpols community popular opinion leaders
wake up call

sex, sexuality, sexual politics & related issues:

sexuality, sexual orientation and sex the differences, in a format that makes my template go mad
prostitution as "just another" profession
HSBC how a bank offers to serve your friendly neighbourhood stalker-sexual predator
human nature, sex and science
lessons learnt on 29c basic self defence against street sexual harassment
sex, violence - and a cola? sexualising violence and abuse. and drinking cola.
barbie how a porn toy got "revamped"
tell me another one! wikipedia and sexual politics. also why i hate 'em
dress (lack of) sense how we sexualise children
THIS is my culture a cultural perspective on sex
degrading denim advertising sex before the product
they like it that way? about women *liking* working in porn
a guy thing attitude about rape
to jack attitudes about sex
a reply to "men need porn"
i DON'T like pornography where i stand. which is not negotiable. so don't bother trying.

other assorted subjects

hiv
conference on hiv stigma
resources : world aids day
patently wrong


"eve-teasing" - sexual harassment in india
thinking aloud about BNP
freewheeling
lessons learnt on 29c
eve-teasing : the claims of ownership
the blank noise project: make some blank noise


the bushmen, diamond trade and armed violence
bloody diamonds


language
on english
"first world", says who?
a guy thing about the word "rape"
the hole politics of english about the origin of the word "vagina"


people doing things
gawd in heaven women's day and the sore need for feminism
"you can't sink a rainbow!" greenpeace and the rainbow warrior
World AIDS Day 2005 multiple resources
protecting children tulir
tsunami relief work update donations of money and materials (note: not updated)

brownskinspeak

sex and PG my experience with my parents in the issue of sex
those "sassy" babes what a powerful woman looks like to the media
hutch: a study in contemporary corporate-sponsored racism
mohanty, spivak, where are you? third world feminist and exclusive knowledge production
perspectives clothing and self expression
science and the state
the abuse of male privilege
unveiled insensitivity the western feminists and the burqa
why undeserved, why unearnt (a continuation of this)
undeserved privileges about privileges we enjoy daily, without even recognising them as such
HSBC : a study in dangerous stereotyping
the dignity of labour
the chameleon's clothing the multiple lives we lead
ethics and allopathy why i dont trust the allopathic system
eve-teasing: the claims of ownership on indian women's bodies being owned by men
thinking aloud about BNP reactions in the BNP blogathon
freewheeling women, men and trust - an analysis of the BNP blogathon
bloody diamonds the story of the diamonds funding armed conflict
the man for their daughter how an unusual couple found a husband for their daughter!
lessons learnt on 29 c street fighting ideas for protection against "eve-teasing"
sex, violence and a cola?
the common thread what is common to the educated and illiterate indian women
feminism in indian culture a cultural perspective
fairy tales and stereotypes
woes of a wildlife biologist
the amazonian
the body political ownership of the female body
third world, and first rate about south africa
a (not so) brave new world? my critique of aldous huxley's book
the story behind the stories
mangal pandey: a review stereotyping our fight for freedom
truly the flavour of india the story of amul
haywards 2000 BC a cultural perspective on alcohol
THIS is my culture! a cultural perspective on sex work
degrading denim
andha ponnu
informed consent - the farce why it's dangerously inadequate in india
out sourced, out manoevred II india and outsourcing (contd.)
out sourced, out manoeuvred india and outsourcing
protecting children child sexual abuse - awareness, healing and prevention
they like it that way? about women working in porn
first world? says who?
as usual, its upto the women
your right to live - going once, twice.. the supremacy of the rich and some NRIs
patently wrong hiv and the patents on ARV therapy
tsunami relief work update
oh, by the way - the rights of the child, and the real world social order
to jack a general commentary on cultural attitudes to sex
cpols community popular opinion leaders and system failure

themes

feminism in indian culture

Feminism in indian culture
The origins of a tradition
Shakthi worship and philosophy
Yoni worship

feminist writing

Sexual/Textual Politics
Sexual/Textual Politics - the beginning of feminist writing
Kate Millett - Sexual Politics
Katherine M Roger, Mary Ellman
Images of women
And so it goes

tags

8 random things about me
tagged for feminism
an epitaph - the 55 word tag
tagged! - books
5 things you didn't know about me

faction

where i shamelessly tell stories - a combination of fact and fiction.

the chernobyl museum
the man for their daughter
the story of his love
the fragments
an epitaph
the story behind the stories
andha ponnu

my life

assorted thoughts

sex and PG my experience with my parents about sex
cubicle conversations polite, sexist conversation
how i spent the last one hour about how i shopped for lip balm
abuse of male privilege trust, the male privilege and its abuse
undeserved privileges my privileges
friends and freeing influences how m. became a woman! :)
basement feelings our not-so-exalted feelings
to minus infinity and back people, their problems and social service
the dignity of labour
the chameleon's clothing the multiple lives we lead
my charming old friends courtesy: my grandfather
singing from rooftops a personal milestone
m. speaks on technocracy, sexism and wikipedia
ah.tech. my family and its escapades with technology
the amazonian the story of a gutsy woman i know
salut! to all my favourite teachers
africa ahoy!
beam me up toto away to africa
farewell to miss pushpa! a farewell and a mad jaunt
the victim complex
a year later
alice bailey- the great invocation
being a feminist now
a definition of sorts groping my way to clarity
uncertainty
pity
dharma
the ringing of the Division Bell
where were you?
the married martyrs
wake up call

the arbit blahs

merry christmas
tamil nadu forestry department
arbit blah 6
yullow
and off i go
'ello 'ello!
koff koff
not really flowersy but
cheers!
loaferspeak
ahem
arbit blah 5
arbit blah 4
tagged
hullo
adults
a warning?
lost
arbit blah 3
the second wave speaks
arbit blah 2
pickles and traditions
arbit blah 1
i agree!

blog talk

n.b.: (note blease)
between you and me - bloggers and gender politics
the game of the name
chit-chat and this and that
footnote

guest scribbles

lament
waiting
my patis