breasts.

Ive been meaning to write about them for a long time. But before we start any discussion, stop and try saying the word out loud. Not “boobs”, not “lajja”, not “assets” and most certainly not “tits”: just “breasts”. My gosh, what a rarity!

I always blow a fuse when I hear people referring to “her tits” when the “her” in question is not a cow, or some other animal. An adult human female has breasts. I find it infuriating and absolutely offensive to hear people call them tits. Because that word carries with it the insulting insinuation that the woman is a cow. While one doesn’t have to “hit on” a woman, theres certainly no call for such a malicious insult either.

Our language is loaded. There are undertones and whole books of meaning lurking behind every word, especially when these words pertain to sex. Using a word like “lajja” implies that a). a big built woman has to calmly accept an inevitable fate of harassment, b).that a small built or flat chested woman is not “woman” enough, c). that you cant ever just regard breasts as a part of the body with about as much erotic value as an oesophagus.

The last may seem funny to you. Why insist that breasts should also be regarded platonically, so to speak? Well because when theres always a sexual innuendo, theres also a huge amount of hypocrisy and hype, so some time, truth gets left behind. Here are some things that you may never have heard about breasts (especially if youre male) because they just don’t get discussed:

Dyou know the number of women who suffer agonies of guilt while breast feeding their child? Its common to feel aroused when suckling the child – and perfectly natural. Its just natures way of making what could well be an onerous task, a more pleasant one for the mother. Its also a very smart evolutionary strategy because if the mother got no joy from feeding the child and decided to ditch it, where would we all be!

But most women only feel terribly ashamed that they feel sexually aroused during breast feeding, because most of the times, nobody has bothered talking to them about it. Nobody can, because its taboo. It would be Talking About Sex, that too in the holier than thou context of motherhood, so its emphatically Not On. Period. (or should I say “periods” since were on the subject of taboos?!)

The bra industry is a booming one. As a feminist its one of my pet peeves that a comfortable bra should be so bloody expensive. It is. (note the irony there by the way: patriarchy has said breasts without bras are vulgar, and that bras should be expensive. hmm, look whos caught in the middle again. The concept of padded bras speaks eloquently for itself.)

And its yet another source of irritation that bras, like most branded clothing nowadays, should be made only for the “perfect” figure. What about 99% of the (im tempted to say “real”) women who aren’t built like that? Are we doomed eternally to ill fitting uncomfortable underwear? I guess we are. If breasts are so taboo and cannot be spoken about, how will we talk about how different breasts are shaped differently, how the left breast is never the same size as the right breast, and how we users would like the bras to be made?

Another issue that’s often ignored amidst all the hype on the breast front, is breast cancer. Breast cancer is terribly common, and usually not diagnosed until its very advanced. but please: like any woman is going to confess aloud that she palpitates her breast every month to see if the textures changed – shell get labelled some kind of sex maniac! (you know how realistic it is to expect someone to actually teach her how to do it…). Personally, I know very few women who know how to do a breast examination for themselves.

Actually, I know very few women who can say “breast” out loud and look you in the eye while saying it without undergoing agonies of shyness. I know throwing off the baggage from that word to reclaim it took me until undergrad! (And im still a little hesistant about posting this. Its one thing to say these things in person, and quite another to write em!)

From smaller issues like bras, to the worse ones like the fetish of bigger is better, there’s heaps that needs to be addressed about breasts. But it will all get swept under the rug and ignored or worse, made inaccessible by taboos, as long as we hide behind words like “tit”.

by the way, if youre male and you read this till the end, hats off to you. If women are embarrassed, this is another thing that decent guys usually squirm about – even after living with sisters and mothers!