how i spent the last one hour

thank god for cell phones. before i got one and discovered sms-ing, i used to mutter all this to myself, causing fellow shoppers and shop assistants to shoot me anxious looks and step carefully a few feet away from me.

"yes. phone recharged. am trying to pick up a simple lip balm. its turning out to be a consumerist nightmare! do i want glowing skin along the way? glossy hair as opposed to thick hair? red pouty lips or shimmering ones? sheesh. they really bombard you."

"how the hell do the staff work here without going broke or developing a massive complex?!"

"a lip balm no longer exists. i dont wanna look like a goldfish a sequin party!! :-("

"YESSS! ive gone one better than beholding god .... ive found a balm that doesnt shine or pump me with vitamins. but its aggressively strawberry. sigh"

(and they ask me why i don't use make-up... )

"our triumphant hero reaches mother ship. and examines now famous lips in mirror. hardly shows. firmly squashes self from wondering if maybe the other stuff was better. chastises self as being a Prime Sucker for marketing."

"thinks of argument with self along lines of 'you dont buy a butt wash seperately so waddaya want a face wash for?!' feels less of a Sucker."

(die vile fiends!)